I pose a question for you: Have you ever witnessed an
encounter you would consider, hmm… out of line? I presume the answer is yes. Friends
having a small argument; no big deal. Tripping over a misplaced leg; accidents
happen. Getting shouldered in the corridors; it was busy. Books getting knocked
off tables; once doesn’t mean anything. But what if these weren’t once-offs? Having
“LIAR” engraved in your desk. Can you tell where this is going? Bullying can be
so subtle, and it isn’t always the kids that go home with the black eye that
hurt the most. But us Irish folk have adapted this wonderful phrase that goes
something like “Ah he’ll be grand”. Will he? Are you with him every night, as
he screams into his pillow and turns to self-harming as an escape? Still think
he’ll be grand?
Statistics in Ireland show that 175,000 (or one in every
four) secondary school pupils are bullied. Globally, as many as 160,000 students
stay home on any given day because they’re afraid of being bullied. The next
set of statistics I’m going to show you disgust me and I hope most of you feel
the same: Adult intervention- 4%, peer intervention- 11%, no intervention- 85%.
Wow, just wow. Four per cent? Is that really the best we, as a nation can do?
I bet you’re so ashamed that you don’t want to hear anymore.
Well, tough shit. Do you know what that four per cent means? Let me break it
down for those that didn’t excel in mathematics: It means for every hundred
children that are bullied, adults in Ireland only help four. Once again, wow. How
can you continue using the line “Always tell an adult first”? Going by the
statistics, we’re better off telling our friends while waiting in the queue
behind ninety-five other kids.
*Before I go any further, I’m just clarifying that I am in
no way or form demoting telling an authority figure. This is simply one
scenario. One personal experience*
Nevertheless, telling authority figures doesn’t always solve
the problem. I’m sure most secondary schools have an “Anti-Bullying Charter”,
yes? My school does. You can’t miss it because it’s everywhere. It’s in
the halls, in the classrooms; it’s even in our school diary. We even have to
sign a Code of Behaviour. But none of this is ever really taken into
consideration when it’s needed most. As I stand here looking at the charter, I can
tell you honestly I have experienced all five types of bullying on the list:
Physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, e-bullying, and damage of
personal property. Yet when the bullies and I were confronted about it (for about
the seventh time, and only after me practically begging the principal to help)
we were both accused of “being at each other”. And that was that. No consequences
for their actions.
Let me give you one example of how lax my school was about
it all. This one I find quite disturbing to recall. Picture this: Principal,
vice principal, two other girls and I, sitting in the board room. As I sit
there with silent tears streaming down my face, I tell the so-called “authority
figures” that I have been receiving abuse online. Somehow, the principal(s)
thought it was the appropriate time to announce how they didn’t have Facebook
accounts, and then joke with the girls opposite them about how they should set
them up. Quite sick, isn’t it?
Basically what I’m trying to say is that there’s never one
specific ‘go to’ person. Nothing can guarantee the bullying will stop
immediately. But one thing is certain- it won’t last forever. That’s such a cliché
but it’s true. If you witness bullying, talk to the person and make sure they’re
okay, even if you don’t know them. They will remember that, trust me on this
one. If you’re currently being bullied, tell someone. Anyone. Even if you feel
it might not be what’s considered “typical” bullying. It all adds up. If anything,
I’m living proof.
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