Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Everyone Deserves A Second Chance

If I was to go around to each person in my class and ask them if they had ever lied, been in trouble, or done something they wish they hadn’t, I’m positive each person would tell their own story with a sigh.

Mistakes are unavoidable in life. Every person has been through a time where they’ve been caught lying, or they’ve hurt someone. That’s not to say these are bad people. They’re simply good people that made bad choices. I am also fully confident that if you gave those people a chance to go back and make the decision again, they would make the right one. I believe everyone can learn from their mistakes and become a better person. But that in itself is a decision many people refuse or are afraid to make.

For example, if you hurt someone it’s you that made the mistake and therefore it’s you that must find a way to fix the relationship. Usually that can be done by apologizing. Sometimes, depending on the person, it may be talked through and then put aside. But on a rare occasion you will find people who refuse to apologize. The ones that insist it wasn’t their fault and cannot come to terms with the consequences their actions have resulted in. People like this cannot handle the responsibility they have to fix things and eventually find themselves pushing the most loved people in their life away, just because they can’t face the reality of the pain they’ve caused someone.

As this person deals with this mental block, the person they hurt has moved on. By the time you are ready to apologize, the relationship will have faded away and “sorry” will not cut it.

Imagine you are the person that experienced the mental block. You’re only just ready to face the world again when this rejection hits you without warning. People may tell you without an ounce of sympathy “that’s what you get” or “it’s your own fault”, and it may be true. But no matter how much you’ve hurt that person, the guilt hurts a hell of a lot more.

Then the panicking begins. “Should I apologize again?” “What will I say?” “Will they ever forgive me?” and the worst of all, “Do they even need me anymore?” …

This is where second chances come in. if a relationship is worth crying over, it’s surely worth the fight to fix it. Now that’s easier said than done. Depending on how close of a relationship it was, both sides may equally want to sort things out. On the other hand, there may be fears of being hurt again. This can result in a lack of trust in the relationship and unwanted tension. This is when both people need room to think. Thinking is not a short process and will not be resolved overnight. It could take months or even years. Both may get to a stage where they’re constantly thinking and stressing about it, and want to completely forget about it.

But if that person played a huge part in your life that will never happen. No matter how hard you try you won’t forget the joy that person brought you just by being a part of your life. You can burn the pictures, block their number, or even move away. But something will always follow you: the memories. Thoughts constantly race through our minds and are one of the few things we cannot control in life.

My personal opinion on second chances is quite straightforward. I believe everyone can change. But only if they, themselves want to change. Having said that, changing is not always the hard part. Being brave enough to give someone a second chance deserves the most praise. Anyone can change if they realize who they are, is not who they want to be. Giving someone a second chance involves no changing. It involves much more.

Trusting that the person has changed, trusting you’re making the right decision, showing the confidence and belief you have in that person are all hard to do if that very person has hurt you. But by giving that person the opportunity to fix what went wrong and allowing them back into your life, you are not only helping them learn from their mistake, but you are also teaching them one of the hardest tasks in life: forgiveness. Everyone needs forgiveness to function on a daily basis. They will be forever grateful for this as someday they might be in the position of deciding whether to forgive or not.

I myself, along with every other person in this world, have been in need of a second chance. Some are lucky enough to receive a second chance, others are still in wait. I can honestly say I have experienced both. The feeling of forgiveness is like no other. The pure relief and joy is overwhelming. I can proudly say I am a better person from that forgiveness, and because of my own personal experience, though it may seem biased, I think everyone deserves a second chance.

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